Stubbs the Zombie review

If you’re a fan of zombie games and movies then it’s likely you’ve been looking forward to this game. The chance to play as a zombie is surely not to be missed? Any game that allows you to chow-down on the slippery grey matter of an entire city full of 1950’s B-movie stereotypes just begs attention, surely?

Well, sort of. And don’t call me Shirley.

Mmmmm… Brainssss…

Stubbs the Zombie wears its heart on its sleeve (insert obvious joke here), and presents you with pretty much the entire game in the first five minutes of tutorial play. You play a former door-to-door salesman, killed by a mad hick-farmer type and buried in now re-developed farmland. Over your mouldering corpse a retro-futuristic city has been built by a wealthy industrialist. Weird chemicals soak Stubbs’ body and he lurches to life. Digging his way out of the ground, the new arrival in Punchbowl, Pennsylvania, does what any self-respecting zombie does – he goes looking for fresh brains and his true love – the mother of the city’s creator.

This is a comedy horror game, only without the horror. You’re not supposed to feel anything beyond contempt for the people you munch, so any chance of the occasional scare is gone. The game is presented in third person with a generally ok camera, but you feel oddly distanced from the lead character. The graphics use the now elderly Halo engine. They are ok, but the glaring glitches and dull, samey scenery snap you out of any immersion in the story or gameplay. In fact, the term just ok can be applied to pretty much all of Stubbs the Zombie.

Just Dandy

The sound effects, presented in surround sound where available, are functional. The voice acting is reasonable, though the re-used comedic dialogue gets tired very quickly. The cutscenes are fine, with a couple that are genuinely funny and a couple that are genuinely dire. The back story is decent but peaks too soon, robbing the last boss encounter and subsequent ending of any real punch. The modern re-workings of 1950’s classics are excellent, including a track from the Dandy Warhols, but the rest of the in-game tunes are simply adequate to continue the mood.

Once you’ve played the tutorial section you’ll have pretty much seen all the game has to offer. I played through the game on the normal difficulty setting, and back through a few select levels on the higher settings (tough and Insane). Normal is maybe a little easy, with tough forcing you to work that little more tactically. Insane is just what it suggests.

Stubbs is a zombie, so he’s not the fastest thing around. Fortunately, the majority of Punchbowl’s citizens are pretty dumb, and will either fail to run away or will run at you and try to take you on – even the scream-queens who should, by rights, either cower in terror or leg it. Passing by this little genre-ignoring glitch, you will spend the game basically making zombies out of citizens, police, farmer militia men, soldier-types, scientists and barbers’ shop quartet singers. Yes, you did read that right. You will actually work your way through most of that list in the first couple of levels and, despite unlocking a number of different attack abilities for Stubbs, boredom will begin to set in quite soon.

Monster Mashed

This is a game that so nearly makes it, enough so that future developments from Wideload will be worth watching for. Stubbs the Zombie was never going to be a massive hit, but it could have been a significant cult hit. Unfortunately, and mainly thanks to the dull, dull, dull environments and repetitive gameplay, it fails to engage. Actually taxing foes don’t show up until the militia men do, and that’s in level 5 of the 11 available. The game also has an annoying habit of robbing you of a sense of victory in key situations. You want examples? Here are two.

At the end of level three you encounter the Chief of Police. Entering his office, you and a few members of your zombie hoard are quickly surrounded. In an attempt to do something different, the designers decide that Stubbs and the Chief are going to have a dance-off instead of a straight fight. Fair enough, and kudos to developer Wideload for at least trying something different, even if it makes no sense within Stubbs’ world. You hit the A, B, X and Y buttons to copy the Chief’s dance moves and somehow you win. It’s that vague. Only you don’t seem to win as such; the Chief just blows up thanks to the stomach bomb you attach to him. Only you, the player, didn’t. It just happens.

Level nine sees you up against the ex-Nazi mad scientist, Dr. Wye. Defeat him in a reasonably entertaining and challenging battle only to have your victory given to a robot who hasn’t been in the entire level and who comes out of nowhere. In the cutscene, you’re suddenly helpless. Dr. Wye cranks up his laser and, at the critical moment, the droid steps in between you, exploding and nailing the bad guy. Sigh.

Bowel Movement

If the thought of using noxious farts to temporarily disable mad mid-western farmers at Knobb Cheese Farm (where the password to get in is cornhole) has you laughing uncontrollably, then Stubbs the Zombie will keep you entertained from beginning to end (assuming your tendency to drool doesn’t short out your controller). If that made you roll your eyes and sigh, then this rebel without a pulse probably isn’t for you. If you smiled, however briefly, and subsequently see this on trade-in or fancy renting it for a weekend (during which you will finish it, I promise), then give Stubbs a whirl. Just don’t expect to remember much of it a week later.